I suffer from a self-diagnosed condition: weight loss delusion.
Do you know what that is? It’s when I think that what I am doing now is no worse that what I did before, but still lost weight. Why was I able to eat out at Wendy’s all the time and lose weight? How did I make non-Weight Watchers,Skinnytaste, etc… foods and still lose weight? Why am I gaining weight now if I am doing everything I was doing during my 30 pounds weight loss?
The truth is, I’m not doing it — even though I think I am. I suppose when you want to make excuses for yourself, you rationalize everything. When I was living in Colorado and going to Wendy’s, I had a garden salad with FF salad dressing and a small cup of chili. Now, it’s a spicy chicken sandwich and a medium order of fries (granted, it’s been a few weeks since I’ve had Wendy’s, but it’s a perfect example). So my previous meal was approximately 6PP+ values, in comparison with my 25 PP+ meal I’ve eaten more recently. Well, duh. No wonder why the scale has crept up and up these last few months. In my mind, I’ve been doing everything the same simply because I’ve eaten at the same stupid restaurant. Never mind that my choices are terrible!
Why do I think like this? I have no idea. Maybe it’s my way of making excuses for myself. I have to ask hubby sometimes if I am being delusional or if in fact I am doing something different. Usually he tells me how it is from his viewpoint (in a nice way!) and I’ll snap out of rationalizing of my actions pretty quickly.
There are two things detrimental to weight loss: rationalization and complacency. These two words are the reason I’ve gained back my 15 pounds since October and I know a lot of people deal with the same emotions of being bored with following any type of plan. The way I see it, a goal weight is nothing more than a number on a scale. It does not mean that all of the sudden we won’t have the temptations we had before, it does not mean that we don’t have to track just because we know what calories or point values are, it does not mean that we are all of the sudden an expert at weight loss. Sure, along the way we become educated, but I feel like I will always be learning to keep my weight down and not getting back to the habits that caused me to gain 90 pounds in the first place. When I got below 200 pounds for the first time in years, I acted like I knew exactly what I was doing and that tracking was not that important because I already knew what fit within my daily points allowance. Never mind that my habits were changing and I was not implementing my tools as they did so.
Reading my old posts — the ones where I was constantly losing weight — struck a cord with me. It was like reading someone else’s journey! I was diligent about tracking, drinking my water and exercising. I never really thought about how those factors placed a role in my recent loss, I just focused where I was going to eat. If you are a blogger, read some of your old posts — it was really eye-opening for me.