My Anchor

Today, I knew going to the scale was going to be ugly. I wasn’t sure how much gain there was going to be, but I was counting on three or four pounds — the good news is that it was only a 2.6 gain, but now my weight has crept up to 209. 8.

That’s 13.4 pounds more than my lowest weigh-in, which I had back in September. It’s awful, but I am not going to dwell on it. I know exactly how it got there — no water, no gym and fast food. These last few months have been stressful, but I don’t eat stress away. I eat because I get what I want, when I want it and sometimes making changes is too much work. There, I said it.

It’s easier to get Taco Bell rather than make something at home. It’s easier to get up and get dressed to go out for Chronic Tacos. But is it? No, probably not. It’s that my taste buds want something and I give them what they want. I also know that all the chemicals and salt work to make me crave it — and I give in. The hubby’s new work schedule means I have more control over what I eat because I don’t want to go out to eateries by myself. In fact, when I make food at home, it’s freaking delicious.

It’s when I go out that I lose my motivation, my will or my perseverance. Today’s message at Weight Watchers was about finding an anchor. I am a visual person, so I thought of the perfect idea that will work for me:

An inspiration board.

This board will have pictures of healthy women with bodies I want to work for, healthy food that I want to make and an overall positive feeling for my progress. I am going to hang it on my refrigerator where I will see it every day. It’s going to be my anchor when I feel weak.

 

Checking in!

It’s been a while since I wrote a blog. What is there to say when you are making bad food choices and not exercising? Perhaps avoidance is something that’s the problem — I make poor food choices and avoid tracking them, I avoid going to the gym when I am enthralled by the latest drama on Bravo, I avoid going out with friends because I am going in the wrong direction on my weight loss journey.

The good news is I still weigh the same as I have for the past few months, the weight hasn’t gone up. The bad news is I am not feeling good about myself or the choices I am making. My friend Marisol wrote a blog the other day, one that could have basically supplemented my name in and it would be just as accurate about my feelings. Check it out here, A Picture Doesn’t Always Tell the Real Story — it’s real and it’s what many people I know are going through right now.

I’ve already mentioned that my weight has crept up about 10 pounds from my lowest weigh in on this Weight Watchers journey. I just don’t feel good anymore! I was going to the gym, but now it’s been long enough since my last visit that I basically have to start over again with my stamina. My food choices are great when I’m at home — it’s going out to eat 5-6 times a week that’s doing me in, but I just don’t stop.

I quit when I don’t see the progress on the scale. I know I don’t give myself enough time, but it’s really discouraging when people around me lose 2-3 pounds a week and I gain after going to the gym and track everything. I expect results to happen quickly and deep down I know it’s not the case, but it honestly feels like a) I am never going to get my act together or b) I will never see my goal weight.

It’s May 1, which means it’s a chance for me to set a couple goals for myself.

The first thing I want to do is drop the 5-6 pounds I keep holding on to that brings me back into the 200’s — there are 5 weeks this month, so I don’t think I am setting unattainable goals.

Another thing I want to work on is water intake. I don’t drink near enough water and I know it’s an important part of the journey. I have become too reliant on my Diet Dr. Pepper’s, and while I am not going to cut them out of my life I think one a day is okay — not three.

I want to check in more here, if nothing else it holds me accountable!