Fixating on a Number

Last Friday, my weigh in was 200.2 — and I won’t lie, I was pretty disappointed. Never mind I lost 1.6 from the week before or that I dropped 5.4 in three weeks — those victories didn’t seem to matter because I still hadn’t gone under 200 pounds since joining Weight Watchers in February 2011.

I even got my 25 pound charm two weeks ago, and I didn’t even celebrate THAT! I have been so fixated on dropping below 200, as though just reaching 199.999999 would be a life-changing moment. I haven’t exercised for fear that it might reflect a couple pound gain on the scale before weigh in. I tell you, I really fixated on going below 200.

This morning, when I stepped on the scale for a weight loss challenge and it still said 200.2, and my reaction was anger! I’ve been tracking everything, measuring my portions and trying to drink no less than 64 ounces of water each day. Why isn’t my weight budging? I had an epiphany this morning, and even though I’ll still probably struggle with letting go of the 199 pound fixation, it’s time to stop.

As I said, I haven’t really exercised because I am afraid of a gain — but what I don’t realize is a gain one week will likely translate to larger drops throughout the coming weeks. I am not exercising and still losing one 1 -1.5 pounds a week — but my fixation is causing my weight loss to go so slowly! If I kept up with tracking and exercised, I’d hit that 199 goal and more in a shorter amount of time than if it didn’t include exercise.

I need to start exercising now! I have a wedding I will be a bridesmaid in taking place in 1 month, 5 days. My dress is strapless, so I want to really get some cardio in and work my arms and shoulders — so I will really try to stop fixating on a number and just improve my lifestyle — those weight loss drops will happen if I just keep with it.

In other good news, the last time I wore a bridesmaid dress in 2009, I was a size (gulp!) 22. This weekend, I went to try on dresses and I am a size 18. Slowly, but surely, I’ll keep going down in sizes.

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