Confessions and Goals

So, as I mentioned in my last post, I fell off the wagon. It always happens — I had a very good weigh-in, got only four pounds to my personal graduation goal, and then I stopped everything. I didn’t track, stopped making food at home, didn’t go to the gym and there is no good reason for why I didn’t do any of it.

I went to the library the other day and I found Bethenny Frankel’s book, A Place of Yes, and decided to bring it home. I am not really into the self-help books, but since I watch her show I have heard about it many times. Just a few pages in, I came to this:

It’s easy to say no, to say “I can’t”, to expect the worse, and doubt yourself. Expecting the worse feels safer because when you fail, you won’t be disappointed…Fear, doubt, and defaulting to no are reasons why so few people end up where they really want to be.

This really hit the nail on the head for me. I find it easier to say ‘no’ to choosing to eat at home, rather than go out to eat. I find it easier to say ‘no’ to going to the gym, rather than earn some activity points. It made me wonder — is there something I am afraid of that makes me give up on myself every time I get close to a goal?

I have been on Weight Watchers for 15 months, and in that period of time I have lost 23 pounds — and adding up all the times I gained and lost the same weight, I’d probably be about half way to my goal by now. I am disappointed in myself, that I don’t value my health enough to stay on track. While the scale at home says I have gained four pounds since my last lowest weigh-in, I find myself trying to start over again with the program. I have been eating out so much, just the thought of making food at home is a huge struggle for me.

With graduation just ten days away, I realize I am probably not going to lose the 8 pounds I needed to meet my personal goal. Once again, I set a goal for myself just to fail. I have made countless countdown goals — my birthday, the hubby’s birthday, wedding #1, wedding #2 three years later, UGH. I have decided that a new change I am implementing is no more countdown goals. Hubby gave me a bit of advice — if you track, exercise and drink water, you will hit your goal no matter what.

I don’t need a countdown clock, I just need to stay on track.

My goals right now are:

  1. Drink water — I need to get in at least 100 ounces each day
  2. Eat at home — Skinnytaste has plenty of amazing recipes that will make eating at home easier
  3. Exercise

I’m just going to focus on the day-to-day and hope I start feeling more confident!

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