My Anchor

Today, I knew going to the scale was going to be ugly. I wasn’t sure how much gain there was going to be, but I was counting on three or four pounds — the good news is that it was only a 2.6 gain, but now my weight has crept up to 209. 8.

That’s 13.4 pounds more than my lowest weigh-in, which I had back in September. It’s awful, but I am not going to dwell on it. I know exactly how it got there — no water, no gym and fast food. These last few months have been stressful, but I don’t eat stress away. I eat because I get what I want, when I want it and sometimes making changes is too much work. There, I said it.

It’s easier to get Taco Bell rather than make something at home. It’s easier to get up and get dressed to go out for Chronic Tacos. But is it? No, probably not. It’s that my taste buds want something and I give them what they want. I also know that all the chemicals and salt work to make me crave it — and I give in. The hubby’s new work schedule means I have more control over what I eat because I don’t want to go out to eateries by myself. In fact, when I make food at home, it’s freaking delicious.

It’s when I go out that I lose my motivation, my will or my perseverance. Today’s message at Weight Watchers was about finding an anchor. I am a visual person, so I thought of the perfect idea that will work for me:

An inspiration board.

This board will have pictures of healthy women with bodies I want to work for, healthy food that I want to make and an overall positive feeling for my progress. I am going to hang it on my refrigerator where I will see it every day. It’s going to be my anchor when I feel weak.

 

Checking in!

It’s been a while since I wrote a blog. What is there to say when you are making bad food choices and not exercising? Perhaps avoidance is something that’s the problem — I make poor food choices and avoid tracking them, I avoid going to the gym when I am enthralled by the latest drama on Bravo, I avoid going out with friends because I am going in the wrong direction on my weight loss journey.

The good news is I still weigh the same as I have for the past few months, the weight hasn’t gone up. The bad news is I am not feeling good about myself or the choices I am making. My friend Marisol wrote a blog the other day, one that could have basically supplemented my name in and it would be just as accurate about my feelings. Check it out here, A Picture Doesn’t Always Tell the Real Story — it’s real and it’s what many people I know are going through right now.

I’ve already mentioned that my weight has crept up about 10 pounds from my lowest weigh in on this Weight Watchers journey. I just don’t feel good anymore! I was going to the gym, but now it’s been long enough since my last visit that I basically have to start over again with my stamina. My food choices are great when I’m at home — it’s going out to eat 5-6 times a week that’s doing me in, but I just don’t stop.

I quit when I don’t see the progress on the scale. I know I don’t give myself enough time, but it’s really discouraging when people around me lose 2-3 pounds a week and I gain after going to the gym and track everything. I expect results to happen quickly and deep down I know it’s not the case, but it honestly feels like a) I am never going to get my act together or b) I will never see my goal weight.

It’s May 1, which means it’s a chance for me to set a couple goals for myself.

The first thing I want to do is drop the 5-6 pounds I keep holding on to that brings me back into the 200′s — there are 5 weeks this month, so I don’t think I am setting unattainable goals.

Another thing I want to work on is water intake. I don’t drink near enough water and I know it’s an important part of the journey. I have become too reliant on my Diet Dr. Pepper’s, and while I am not going to cut them out of my life I think one a day is okay — not three.

I want to check in more here, if nothing else it holds me accountable!

It’s a Journey!

Weight Loss

 

They say losing weight is a journey, but it’s so hard to remember that when things aren’t going so well. After 2+ years on Weight Watchers, along with the highs and lows of my weight, it feels so hard to get back on track. I want to lose weight, I want to feel good in my clothes, I don’t want to avoid social outings because I have low self-esteem, so why can’t I just shut up, track my food and go to the gym?

Then I have to come to terms with, well if I want it, why don’t I just do it? What am I allowing to stop me from making good food choices? I have all of the tools I need with Weight Watchers, I have access to healthy food and I have a gym down the hallway from my apartment. What more do I need to have to make the effort? I believe the biggest obstacle in my way is discipline. I’ve never used willpower to get through something. If I want it, I have it. I don’t exercise control over my impulses — if I am not hungry and there is something sitting there, I’ll grab it just because it’s there.

Today I went to Weight Watchers for the umpteenth time and saw a gain at the scale. There was a +2.6 gain this week, making my current weight at 208.

Remember when I said I was ecstatic to get out of the 200s? Remember when I said I would never allow myself to see a ’2′ in front of my weight again? Well, here it is. I’ve gained back 10 pounds in the last 5 months. Ever since hubby transitioned to his new job in California, I’ve been struggling. I really don’t know why I just struggle to get back on the wagon after making such good progress. Today’s weigh in of 208 depressed me, but it lit a spark under my butt. We talked about routines and making safe places around us, and that is something I know I can change. My kitchen and pantry is often in disarray, leading me to avoid cooking at home or finding healthy recipes using things in the pantry.

Clearing away that clutter will help me refocus in the kitchen. With hubby’s uncertain future, I can’t afford dining out. I have dozens of Weight Watchers cookbooks — so there are plenty of great recipes to find and make. Planning is the key for me. It’s something I’ve been doing 50% and it shows. I need to plan out exactly what I am going to eat throughout the day and just stick to it. Water is another thing I’ve been struggling with — yesterday was the first time in weeks I actually had more than a cup of water. Maybe today’s 208 weight was bloat and water, but I don’t care how it’s there — it needs to come off.

I am not going to create a list of things I “plan on doing”. I am doing them now. Tracking. Meal Planning. Drinking Water. I need to take it one meal at a time right now and start feeling good about myself!

 

Menu Planning!

Yesterday I mentioned how I am going in the wrong direction with my weight loss. I was feeling down about how I have gotten off track and the lovely Miss Marisol shared her own struggles with us in this post Motivation & Successful People.

She might have well addressed the post to me! The bottom line is, I haven’t been making good choices. I wonder why things aren’t going as well here as they did when I was in Denver — I go out to eat as much now as I did then, but I realize my choices are and were much different. In Denver, I’d go to Wendy’s and have a small chili with garden salad and FF dressing, no croutons. In Long Beach, I have a double double with animal style fries. Hmm. Go figure why I am gaining weight.

In an effort to reverse the engines away from more weight gain, I sat down yesterday to create a small menu of healthy, but great foods, to get me back into the kitchen. I have on the menu:

Skinnytaste — Chicken Fajitas and Crock Pot Chicken Cacciatore

Emily Bites — Lasagna cupcakes

These couple of recipes, in addition to my lunches and breakfasts, will get me back in the kitchen and making portioned, tracked foods. After spending a few days in San Francisco, I am off again on another short trip — this time to Estes Park and Colorado Springs. I will make a conscious effort to limit the “bad” foods, drink iced tea and water and get some activity while I’m there!

Wrong Direction

I’m a terrible blogger. You’d think that because I wrote for a job I would write for fun any time of the day, but the truth is the last thing I want to do after working all day is sit at the computer even longer. Maybe I also don’t put much effort into blogging because I have been failing myself and I think that people read blogs to gain inspiration, not read how someone is not making the best choices.

I guess I’ll just come out and say it. In the last five months, I’ve gained back 12 pounds. It fluctuates from time to time, but on average I am about 205 — which is 10 pounds more than I weighed in September/October. I feel so disappointed in myself! I worked so hard to get out of the 200′s…and I was so happy to see the 90′s start to get lower and lower — and then the move came.

Throw in all the new places to eat and the friends to see and I am back to never making food at home and gaining weight. Now I am back in the 200′s (where I swore I’d never be) and the scale is either going in the wrong direction or not budging. I was getting to the point where I went to the gym twice a day for 30-40 minutes each time so I could get my Active Link to light up and even after a month of that, the scale didn’t show any good loss. The end of February was a nightmare in terms of work, so I sat all day at the computer and didn’t spare any time to go to the gym and then ate out every meal because I didn’t want to cook and clean.

We just came back from a trip to San Francisco, and while I didn’t go crazy with the food (hubby and I shared almost everything) I still had this little voice in the back of my head that I wanted to come home and start cooking again. I used to have an interest in cooking and enjoy all the amazing things I was eating and losing weight each week on the scale — and there are so many things I used to do while living in Colorado that I don’t do here.

For example, menu planning. Something as simple as sitting down with cookbooks, food blogs or whatever is the key to my weight loss — and saving money (which some of you know is going to be imperative in the next month or so). For me, this is how menu planning affects my life and is the foundation for everything else I do:

Menu planning — I stay on track with points, don’t spend too much at the store and I always know what I am going to eat.

When I don’t plan, I get hungry (or hangry. lol) I look in my refrigerator and see nothing but crappy stuff that won’t taste good. Well, it won’t taste good because I want chili from Wendy’s! Then I go out to eat, spend money and blow my points. The food that is in the fridge goes bad because I don’t eat it, thus causing me literally to throw away money.

I think a lot about food. Despite being on Weight Watchers for two years, I still struggle with thinking about food all the time. When I don’t have a menu plan, my mind wanders to all of those tempting foods out there I could get because there’s nothing at home. Making a menu plan helps me stay focused. I’m hungry at 2 p.m.? Don’t worry, there is a string cheese and banana waiting for me. I wake up hungry? Oatmeal and a smoothie are on a menu, so I shouldn’t tell my hubby we need to go out for breakfast.

Today is my first day back from finishing a ton of work and vacation. You can bet the first thing I am doing is making a menu, grocery list, cutting coupons and getting back in the kitchen. I know that my first 32 pounds of loss were purely because what I did in the kitchen. It’s time to snap out of it, make food and get back to enjoying what I make — the restaurants aren’t going anywhere! They need to stay a special treat and not a daily occurrence.

Swamped!

Hey everyone, 

I’m sorry for the lack of posts here…I’ve been working pretty much every day since the end of January and after writing all day it’s so hard to keep writing/keeping up with blogging.

There have been many things I’ve done well this month (twice a day gym trips) and things I let get out of my control (diligent tracking) — I’ll be finishing up my major projects next week and then it’s back to regular updates!

 

Thank you! 

Staying on Track with WW Kitchen

These last couple of weeks have been going really well in terms of tracking and getting activity — I am on my second week of making practically nothing but Weight Watchers meals using my WW Kitchen App for the iPad. To say I love the app is an understatement!!

WW App

The app allows you to search recipes either by keyword, point value, course or cooking level — and the great pictures are an added bonus because it reminds me that really nothing is off limits with this amazing program, the changes are in how it’s made or the serving size. This past week, I’ve made:

As you can see, there is so much variety and the hubby has loved every single thing I’ve made. It’s amazing how much food you get for the points as opposed to eating the same number of points out at a restaurant! I’m still working on going out to eat less — I’m staying within my budget for dining out, but still want to reduce it even further.

I love this app because it really makes everything SO easy! When you select a recipe, you can send it to your recipe box, add it as a favorite, add it to a shopping list and EVEN track it. There’s a little meal planning feature so you can designate certain meals for certain days. I told hubby the only thing the app doesn’t do is make the food for me — DARN!

This week, I have even more variety on my menu. I’ve been craving Greek food, so I have plenty of that on the menu –

If you don’t have an iPad — don’t worry. You can find all of these recipes on WeightWatchers.com — it just makes it so much easier for me to find recipes using the iPad and it’s literally a point and click to plan the menu.

Aside from making the goal of eating predominantly Weight Watchers recipes, (which let’s face it, are just regular recipes with everyday healthy ingredients) my weekly goal these last couple of weeks has been to add fruit or veggies to every single meal. Whether I throw in a banana with breakfast or dice up celery and green onion to add to my chicken salad, I’m making the effort of adding fruits or veggies to everything I eat!

Last week, I earned 9 Activity Points according to my Active Link — this week I am aiming for 10! I’m trying to give myself specific goals that I actually complete, rather than the broad ones of “I’ll eat more veggies or go to the gym more often” which are things I’ve said in the past.

This week, I’d like to focus on more water. I’ve been getting in about 64 ounces a day, but drinking 2-3 diet sodas — and I want to get back to my one soda a day and 120 ounces of water. I think I’m craving soda so much because I’m limiting my going out to eat meals — my body must be looking for something else to latch on to since I’m eating better.

On a side note, tomorrow is the Golden Globe Awards! If you like to watch the awards or red carpet arrivals, follow me on Twitter at my fashion/beauty blog @GlamorousBlog, as I will be live-tweeting the event! I love to chat with everyone on Twitter during the show to see what everyone thinks — so join me tomorrow afternoon for the E! Red Carpet.

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

Feeling Better

It’s amazing how in control you feel when you track what you’re eating. It’s also amazing how something as simple as writing it down can seem so impossible when you’re in a funk or you just don’t want to put in the effort. For me, the last few months have been a little bit of both. I’ve mentioned in previous posts that our living situation was really uprooted there for a few months — me having to go from making food for the hubby and tracking everything to making stuff just for myself.

It’s a sad fact, but I don’t put the effort into anything if it’s just me. I got off track with writing down what I ate and pretty soon I was tracking once or twice a week. My weight crept up about five pounds and the 2.5 months since moving has been a fight between gaining and losing the same 3 pounds. Well, I don’t know how it happened, but I got pissed off.

Pissed off that I was STILL in the same boat I’ve been in for the 2, almost 3, years on Weight Watchers. Sure, I’m 25 pounds less. But really?! In 34 months I lost a whopping 25 pounds. What a waste of time and money. The rut/cloud/funk I’d been in finally drifted away about a week ago. Then I found numerous challenges to join — which I mentioned in the post Hello, 2013! and I finally started to do the fundamental things Weight Watchers teaches members. I tracked every single day — I had a major disaster with a plate of brownies over the course of 4 days, which brought my weeklies to an embarrassing -53 PPV. But you know what? They were tracked and accounted for — that’s more than I’ve done in weeks.

Finally, I’ve been feeling better. More in control. I’ve gone to the gym three times this week and earned a few points with my Active Link. It hasn’t been much, but I’m just trying to get into the mindset where I need to go and workout. I’ve been trying to get in at least 64 ounces of water — some days it’s more. The great news is I’m down 1.4 pounds this week, even though I was -53 weeklies. This week should be much better, as I won’t be making any desserts to be tempted with for the time being.

I’m turning 30 in a few weeks, and I’m determined to get this fat suit off by the summer. I literally spent my entire 20s unhappy, overweight and depressed about how I looked — I’ll never get that time back. I’m certainly not going to let another decade slip out of my fingers.

 

Hello, 2013!

To be perfectly honest, 2012 has been a complete waste of time in terms of weight loss. I bounced around the same 3-4 pounds for a good 9 months of the year and I’m entering 2013 still not satisfied with how I look.

After the big adjustment to our living situation in the late summer, I’ve spent about 6 months not doing anything productive. Since I basically had to cook for only myself, I started going for the convenience foods in the freezer section at the grocery store, going back to dining out 3-4 times a week and never going to the gym. I guess the silver lining is my weight could have gone up much worse than the 5 pounds I gained back, but even in my worst times I still had the little Weight Watchers messages in the back of my mind.

I’m already trying to start 2013 off strong. I’ve signed up for the Shrinking Jeans New Year’s Weight Loss Challenge so I can kick start my weight loss for the new year.

Shrinking Jeans

The next thing I signed up for was the Couch to 5 K — also with Sisterhood of the Shrinking Jeans. I’ve tried the program once before, and you guessed it, quit! I feel like I’m “too fat” to run, but this time I am just going to go for it. Hubby marked the end of the program in his Google calendar — it’s March something, and that day I plan to be running a 5k on the treadmill at my gym. We had a choice of starting dates, so I chose January 1st. Here’s to my success!

c25k-start-running-01Another challenge I’ve signed up for is the Progress not Perfection Tracking Challenge, run by Weight Off My Shoulders, which only requires that we track everything we eat each day. This challenge could not have come at a better time — I’ve really been struggling with simply writing down what I eat. The fundamental part of Weight Watchers. I’ve been on the challenge going on 4 days and I’ve already seen a 3 pounds drop in my weight since Thursday of last week.

Amazing what a little tracking does, right?

I’n not setting any weight loss number goals this year. That’s lame and it never really works out. Instead, I am setting health-related goals:

  • Make only Weight Watchers meals for the month of January — and beyond! There’s a fabulous app on the iPad called WW Kitchen and there are dozens of delicious, easy recipes. Between that and my three WW cookbooks, this challenge of mine should not be a problem.
  • Complete a challenge. Whether it’s the C25K or something else, I actually want to finish something I start out to do.
  • Run — I don’t want to sign up for any marathons, I just want to go to the gym and be able to run a couple miles a day.
  • Hit 20% lost at Weight Watchers (only 10 pounds to go!)
  • Lose a combined total of 50 pounds on Weight Watchers (only 20 more to go!)
  • Feel confident when I shop for clothes this spring
  • Wear a bathing suit

As I complete each of these things, I’ll cross them off — I am so excited for 2013 it’s not even funny!!!!

My Week on Simply Filling!

Reblogged from Brooke: Not On A Diet!:

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I made it one of my goals for the month of December to follow the Simply Filling plan from Weight Watchers for a week. I came up with the goal after reading Melissa's post about her doing Simply Filling for a week. She had awesome results and I thought I would give it a shot.

Here's a jist of how Simply Filling works: you eat foods from the…

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If you are interested in the Simply Filling plan on Weight Watchers, check out Brooke's experience!